The Daily Fatwa
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Fatwa: Against Disingenuity


Regarding "disingenuity," the Prophet says " [A]nd when you see them, their persons will please you, and If they speak, you will listen to their speech as if they were big pieces of wood clad with garments; They are the enemy, therefore beware of them; may Allah destroy them..."  Therefore, let it henceforth be known that those who are disingenuous shall not be suffered but shall be heard and then denounced as such.  When they cry out that "the shooting in Blacksburg could have been prevented if more money had been spent on mental health" let it be known that those speakers are liars, idoloters and cowards and treat them in accordance with the Koran's teaching to "slay the idolaters wherever you find them, and take them captives and besiege them and lie in wait for them in every ambush, then if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, leave their way free to them; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."  Naturally, in today's kinder and gentler world..."slay" should only be interpreted to mean..."slay with really, really mean words" and possibly "the cold shoulder."  Afterall, who wants the messy cleanup that comes with an actual slaying?
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Posted by The Imam Of The Day at 4/24/2007 7:21 PM | View Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (0)
Blamelessness & Virginia Tech

Observing the terrible atrocity in Blacksburg, and our media and culture's response to it, I must admit that, unfortunately, I've ceased to be amazed by those who seek to blame everyone but "the shooter" for the shooting.  Inreasingly I find myself mumbling to myself, "hello...forest...trees..."  Evidently, we now seem to live in a society that, rather than  addressing problems honestly, focuses more and more on blame shifting. For example, I cringed when I heard the Va. Tech mental health community, which had an ample opportunity to diagnose Seung-Hui Cho as a "danger to others," blame the shooting on the lack of funding for mental health care in our society.  In truth, the psychologists fully knew that the law allows that if a person is deemed to be "a danger to themselves or others" then they can be committed for clinical observation and diagnosis simply upon presentation of an affidavit from a credible witness to a magistrate.  But, of course, to do that would require them to make a value judgment about another person and that's probably too much to ask for in this day and age of universal tolerance.  I also cringed when I listened to the media's instant indictment of the Va. Tech Police Chief.  Apparently, in their collective minds, the Chief failed to be sufficiently clairvoyant enough to foresee that, hours after what appeared to be a domestic homicide, a South Korean student would go on a shooting spree on the opposite side of the campus from the first shooting.  Somewhere in all of this I ask myself, "what about the shooter, what about Cho?  Has our culture evolved to the point where there is no such thing as evil?  Can we no longer suffer the notion that some people simply are, and or do, evil?"  If that's the case then we should remember that, for 90% of the rest of the world, evil exists.  And, increasingly, to them, WE are evil.  With that in mind, Helle Dale's article is apropos.

April 19, 2007
The evil men do

Words seem so very inadequate, but they are unfortunately often all we have to express the grief, outrage and sympathy that well up when tragedies like Monday's massacre at Virginia Tech strike. The heart just goes out to the students and their parents, who sustained the worst loss, the greatest pain that can hit a human being. The tragedy that struck the parents of the Virginia Tech students is the tragedy of the entire nation.

The insane shooting spree cut short the lives of more than 30 people, most of them young promising people, who were surely expecting nothing but an ordinary day of classes and undoubtedly looking forward to the end of the term. The boundless energy, potential, sense of fun and affection that characterize the time of life when young people get ready to face the world on their own, will in this case be no more than the memories that their families and friends recall over and over.

At a time when the United States is at war and deeply engaged militarily in Iraq, a comparison with the carnage that is a daily fact in the lives of Iraqi citizens presents itself. Only a few days ago, 60 people were killed when suicide bombers detonated explosive devices at a bus stop in Baghdad. Imagine our horror if the carnage at Virginia Tech were something that repeated itself in American cities day after day.

In such circumstances of tragic loss, it is natural to want to assign blame. We are creatures not just of emotion, but also of intellect that in the interest of finding meaning demands fairness and justice.

Unfortunately, in Virginia as in Baghdad, it often happens that the killer deprives his surviving victims, be they the wounded or the bereaved, of the satisfaction of seeing justice done. Mass murderers like the gunman at Virginia Tech tend to take their own lives rather than face the consequences of their actions. This obviously is also true of suicide bombers.

The killer has been identified as 23-year-old Cho Seung-Hui, a fourth-year English student, who hailed from this area. His family lives in Centreville and he graduated from high school in Chantilly in 2003. What possessed him to commit an act of pure evil like this will take time to unravel, if we ever get an answer.

What is clear though -- by definition -- is that a total lack of appreciation for human life is at work here, a lack of respect for the suffering of others. Whoever can kill on such a scale has to be entirely wrapped up in his personal ego, an ego void of the higher qualities of empathy, conscience and compassion.

Deprived of this still inadequate source of comfort that justice provides us, we are left to grasp at others to blame. The first reaction to the Virginia Tech massacre has been to point accusingly at the leadership of the university, which failed to notify students and faculty that two murders had taken place in the West Ambler Johnston dormitory at 7:15 am, where a male resident assistant and a female student were killed.

Though campus police shut down that building immediately, no general notification was made, and such an alarm might have helped stop the killer in his tracks and saved 30 lives. University President Charles Steger has said that the campus police believed he had fled the scene and was no longer on campus. That assumption was a fateful mistake. It was not till 9:50 am that an e-mail alert went out to the campus community that "a gunman is loose on campus." Only a few minutes later gunfire broke out in the classroom at Norris Hall, where the gunman trapped his victims in their classrooms.

Does blame attach itself to the actions of the university leadership? The decisions that were taken do indeed seem incomprehensible in the light of what followed. Further investigation is certainly warranted of those actions. This is a tragedy for the entire university community.

In terms of American foreign policy and Iraq, blame invariably attaches itself to the White House and the president whenever violence takes place. As the going has gotten tough in Iraq and sectarian violence escalated, the United States has tended to get blamed, rather than the perpetrators of the violence itself. 

As the nation grieves so many young lives being lost, it crucial that we recall who the real culprits are, those for whom fellow human lives mean absolutely nothing as they take their anger out on the world.

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Posted by The Imam Of The Day at 4/24/2007 7:20 PM | View Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (0)
Virginia Tech


This article is deserving of a Fatwa regarding disinginuity...  It shall be put to The Council...

PEGGY NOONAN

Cold Standard

Virginia Tech and the heartlessness of our media and therapy culture.

I saw an old friend on the Acela on the way to Washington, and he told me of the glum, grim faces at the station he'd left, all the commuters with newspapers in their hands and under their arms. This was the day after Virginia Tech. We talked about what was different this time, in this tragedy. I told him I felt people were stricken because they weren't stricken. When Columbine happened, it was weird and terrible, and now there have been some incidents since, and now it's not weird anymore. And that is what's so terrible. It's the difference between "That doesn't happen!" and "That happens."
Actually I thought of Thoreau. He said he didn't have to read newspapers because if you're familiar with a principle you don't have to be familiar with its numerous applications. If you know lightning hits trees, you don't have to know every time a tree is struck by lightning.

In terms of school shootings, we are now familiar with the principle.

Dennis Miller the other night said something compassionate and sensible on TV. Invited to criticize some famous person's stupid response to a past tragedy, he said he sort of applied a 48 hour grace period after a tragedy and didn't hold anyone to the things they'd said. People get rattled and say things that are extreme.

But more than 48 hours have passed. So: some impressions. 

There seems to me a sort of broad national diminution of common sense in our country that we don't notice in the day-to-day but that become obvious after a story like this. Common sense says a person like Cho Seung-hui, who was obviously dangerous and unstable, should have been separated from the college population. Common sense says someone should have stepped in like an adult, like a person in authority, and taken him away. It is only common sense that if a person like Cho leaves a self-aggrandizing, self-celebrating, self-pitying video diary of himself to be played by the mass media, the mass media should not play it and not publicize it, not make it famous. Common sense says that won't help.
And all those big cops, scores of them, hundreds, with the latest, heaviest, most sophisticated gear, all the weapons and helmets and safety vests and belts. It looked like the brute force of the state coming up against uncontrollable human will.

But it also looked muscle bound. And the schools themselves more and more look muscle bound, weighed down with laws and legal assumptions and strange prohibitions.

The school officials I saw, especially the head of the campus psychological services, seemed to me endearing losers. But endearing is too strong. I mean "not obviously and vividly offensive." The school officials who gave all the highly competent, almost smooth and practiced news conferences seemed to me like white, bearded people who were educated in softness. Cho was "troubled"; he clearly had "issues"; it would have been good if someone had "reached out"; it's too bad America doesn't have better "support services." They don't use direct, clear words, because if they're blunt, they're implicated.

The literally white-bearded academic who was head of the campus counseling center was on Paula Zahn Wednesday night suggesting the utter incompetence of officials to stop a man who had stalked two women, set a fire in his room, written morbid and violent plays and poems, been expelled from one class, and been declared by a judge to be "mentally ill" was due to the lack of a government "safety net." In a news conference, he decried inadequate "funding for mental health services in the United States." Way to take responsibility. Way to show the kids how to dodge.

The anxiety of our politicians that there may be an issue that goes unexploited was almost--almost--comic. They mean to seem sensitive, and yet wind up only stroking their supporters. I believe Rep. Jim Moran was first out of the gate with the charge that what Cho did was President Bush's fault. I believe Sen. Barack Obama was second, equating the literal killing of humans with verbal coarseness. Wednesday there was Sen. Barbara Boxer equating the violence of the shootings with the "global warming challenge" and "today's Supreme Court decision" upholding a ban on partial-birth abortion.

One watches all of this and wonders: Where are the grown-ups? 

I wondered about the emptiness of the phrases used by the media and by political figures, and how pro forma and lifeless and cold they are. The formalized language of loss hasn't kept up with the number of tragedies. "A nation mourns." "Our prayers are with you." The latter is both self-complimenting and of dubious believability. Did you really pray? Or is it just a phrase?
And this as opposed to the honest things normal people say: "Oh no." "I am so sorry." "I'm sad." "It's horrible."

With all the therapy in our great therapized nation, with all our devotion to emotions and feelings, one senses we are becoming a colder culture, and a colder country. We purport to be compassionate--we must respect Mr. Cho's privacy rights and personal autonomy--but of course it is cold not to have protected others from him. It is cold not to have protected him from himself. 

The last testament Cho sent to NBC seemed more clear evidence of mental illness--posing with his pistols, big tough gangsta gonna take you out. What is it evidence of when NBC News, a great pillar of the mainstream media, runs the videos and pictures on the nightly news? Brian Williams introduced the Cho collection as "what can only be described as a multi-media manifesto." But it can be described in other ways. "The self-serving meanderings of a crazy, self-indulgent narcissist" is one. But if you called it that, you couldn't lead with it. You couldn't rationalize the decision.
Such pictures are inspiring to the unstable. The minute you saw them, you probably thought what I did: We'll be seeing more of that.

The most common-sensical thing I heard said came Thursday morning, in a hospital interview with a student who'd been shot and was recovering. Garrett Evans said of the man who'd shot him, "An evil spirit was going through that boy, I could feel it." It was one of the few things I heard the past few days that sounded completely true. Whatever else Cho was, he was also a walking infestation of evil. Too bad nobody stopped him. Too bad nobody moved.

Ms. Noonan is a contributing editor of The Wall Street Journal and author of "John Paul the Great: Remembering a Spiritual Father" (Penguin, 2005), which you can order from the OpinionJournal bookstore. Her column appears Fridays on OpinionJournal.com.

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Posted by The Imam Of The Day at 4/24/2007 7:00 PM | View Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (0)
Constitutional Eisegesis


Yesterday a few colleagues were sitting around debating whatever it is that we debate when one piped up with "I'm engaged in an eisegesis..."  To which I commented "and who thought they'd hear that word today?"

With that in mind, I post Mark Alexander's article on Constitutional Eisegesis, which you will find, once you get through the biblical examples, actually is about the Constituion and is worth the read.

Mark Alexander:

"Judge not, lest ye be judged." It's notable that this text from the Bible has replaced John 3:16 as Americans' favorite scriptural quotation -- but what does it actually mean? Is this ageless admonition really a call to unmitigated tolerance over discernment between right and wrong? Is it really a biblical nod of the head to the virtues of postmodern morality and multicultural society?

Of course not. As Christ's imperative against judgment appears in the Gospel accounts, a different picture emerges. With the Pharisees clearly in view, in the Sermon on the Mount account of Matthew 7, and again in Luke 6, "judge not" appears in the context of the proverbial man who perceives the speck that is in his brother's eye, but not the log that is in his own. The context, then, suggests a warning against hypocrisy, not moral discernment. Indeed, the full imperative of the passage encourages righteous judgment: "first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Then, in John 7:24, taking aim at the Pharisees once again, Jesus makes another extraordinary statement: "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." So, does Jesus really call his followers to "judge not"? Not really. In the vocabulary of theologians, this practice of isolating and thereby misinterpreting a phrase or passage from its context is called eisegesis. 

Other common examples of eisegesis -- which we'll leave to your own exegesis -- include the imperative "care for orphans and widows" (James 1) to sanction a social, and thereby governmental, responsibility; "Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man" (I Corinthians 11) as an affirmation of male chauvinism; and "Love keeps no record of wrongs" (I Corinthians 13) as a get-out-of-jail-free card for habitual sin.

But what, you ask, does this Bible lesson have to do with the Constitution? In truth, the same fallacies that affect biblical interpretation also affect our interpretation of the Constitution.




Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States pose for a 2006 class photo inside the Supreme Court in Washington March 3, 2006. In a major blow for President George W. Bush's war on terrorism, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled on June 29, 2006 that the military tribunal system set up to try Guantanamo prisoners violates the Geneva Conventions and U.S. military rules.  REUTERS/Larry Downing/Files (UNITED STATES)

The belief in a Constitution subject to the evolving interpretation of the judiciary has as its origin the 1803 case of Marbury v. Madison, where Chief Justice John Marshall ruled, "It is emphatically the province and duty of the judicial department to say what the law is." All well and good if the courts would continue to interpret the law exegetically, but as history would soon show, constitutional eisegesis was lurking just around the corner.

In fact, by the early 20th century the eisegetical interpretation of the Constitution had been given a name, courtesy of Howard McBain's 1927 book, The Living Constitution. In the decades that followed, this notion of a "living" Constitution, one subject to all manner of judicial interpretation, took hold in the federal courts. Judicial activists, who legislate from the bench by issuing rulings based on their personal interpretation of the Constitution, or at the behest of like-minded special-interest constituencies, were nominated for the federal bench and confirmed in droves.

This degradation of law was codified by the Warren Court, under the influence of Justice William Brennan, Jr., in Trop v. Dulles (1958). In that ruling, the High Court noted that the Constitution should comport with "evolving standards...that mark the progress of a maturing society." In other words, it had now become a fully pliable document -- one that Jefferson had warned us would be a "mere thing of wax in the hands of the judiciary which they may twist and shape into any form they please."

By 1987, living constitutionalism had become such the norm that Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall delivered a lecture, "The Constitution: A Living Document," in which he argued that the Constitution must be interpreted to the age in which it existed, given prevailing political, moral and cultural norms.

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Posted by The Imam Of The Day at 4/24/2007 8:48 AM | View Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (0)
Political Expediency


Here's an interesting article from Congressman Duncan Hunter.  In my mind, it illustrates the fact that Congress "simply doesn't get it" regarding the Global War On Terror.  Apparently, the Democrats are willing to hamstring the war effort in order to guarantee defeat, which, of course, serves their political ends, while at the same time increases the risk for our Soldiers, who are the only ones in all of this mess who are actually in harm's way. 

Obstructionists Democrats
by Rep. Duncan Hunter  (More by this author)

Posted: 04/24/2007
While they wrangle over the terms of their surrender legislation, the Democrat leadership has sent the worst of messages to the world.  Speaker Pelosi struck the first wedge into what should be a united American foreign policy on Iraq by introducing a defense bill, which would effectively move the position of Commander in Chief to the U.S. Congress.  Along with timetables for withdrawal from Iraq, the Pelosi bill, on page 72, mandates a 15 day waiting period before an American unit can be moved into the Iraq war theater.  This incredibly obstructive provision would have profound negative effects on our forces’ abilities to fight.  For example, should US hostages be taken and a Delta Force team moved from outside the theater to attempt a rescue, Pelosi’s provision would require a fifteen-day waiting period and a report to Congress before the rescue could be attempted.  Should a Zarqawi level target be located and U.S. fighter aircraft be deployed from outside Iraq, the same fifteen days would elapse before a strike could be executed.  The very nature of the “notice and wait” requirement illustrates how unfamiliar Democrats are with the war against terrorists.  This is a new era involving rapid movement of specialized personnel and equipment across theater boundaries.  “Notice and wait for two weeks” reflects an ultimate misunderstanding of U.S. military operations.

Democrats, in defending the Pelosi requirement, state that their concern is readiness of  our military forces and that the President’s certification of  ”full mission capability” and Congress’ fifteen day review of said certification is  simply  assertion of normal congressional oversight responsibilities.  This position should be rejected for several reasons.  First, such micro management can never work in a congress, which takes weeks to tee up a hearing.  Second, readiness levels are a complicated thing, often unreflective of real military capability.  For example, if an infantry company does not have its flu shots, it will be rated as “unready.”  In the world of speaker Pelosi, this may justify non-deployment, but to a soldier engaged in combat and awaiting reinforcements, the message that the speaker is worried that the re-enforcements will catch  the flu and will have to “stay home from school” until they get their shots is hardly inspiring.  All this reflects the wisdom of the Constitution’s reserving Commander in Chief responsibilities for the single leader elected by the entire nation.  Even the Washington Post noted the obvious intrusion of the Pelosi bill on the President’s powers.

Senate leader Reid quickly followed Speaker Pelosi with his own mis-guided “missile,” in announcing that the U.S. had “lost” the war in Iraq.  Just as Speaker Pelosi had surprised the Israelis by becoming their ambassador to Syria without portfolio, Senator Reid’s comments must have been a surprise to some.  Consider, for example what effect they might have on an Al-Qaeda leader in Anbar Province.  As he sits in his safe house outside Fallujah, the bad news has been coming in.  His assassinations of Sunni Tribal leaders have turned the region against him.  Sunnis are joining the Iraqi Army in Anbar Province in unprecedented numbers.  The Sunni led national police force is working with the Shiite led Army and the U.S. Marine Corps to push back against Al-Qaeda.  The terrorist leader is interrupted from his “bad news” briefings by ecstatic aides.  “Senator Reid has surrendered,” they shriek.  “He says the U.S. has lost the war.”  The Al-Qaeda leader asks the aides if they are joking, and, assured they are not, turns to the task of redoubling his efforts.  This statement can only have the effect of encouraging the enemy in Iraq. 

Beyond its damaging effect, Senator Reid’s statement also reflects total misunderstanding of the situation in Iraq.  Occupations of foreign nations have always been difficult.  They wear on two parties: the occupier and the occupied.  The bunch of books that have been written on the U.S. operation in Iraq, all critical, have one thing in common:  a long laundry lists of U.S. “mistakes”

Is the implication that a “smooth road” to occupation existed?  In reality, such a smooth road is never attainable given circumstances like Iraq.  For those who recommended that Saddam Hussein’s army be kept intact a brief chuckle should be reserved.  This army contained 11,000 (yes, eleven thousand) Sunni generals.  An Army thus comprised and charged with stabilizing and defending a predominately Shiite nation would only have created a mess.  For those who recommended that the U.S. force be vastly increased early in the occupation, two points come to mind.  First, where were you when Commander in Chief Bill Clinton reduced his Army to ten divisions (from fourteen divisions in 1992)?  Second, how does an increased American force mesh with a goal of liberal senators to “put an Iraqi face” on the security apparatus? 

Today we are in the second phase of the American blueprint for expanding freedom.  A government, elected by its people, has been stood up.  It is clumsy as most new governments are, but it is generally representative of the political will of the Iraqi people.  The U.S. military is now in the process of standing up an Iraqi military capable of protecting the government.  The Iraqi Army consists of 129 battalions.  It is critical that the force be battle-hardened in an expeditious fashion.  Military forces gain competence most rapidly through military operations.  Each Iraqi battalion that has not undertaken extensive operations should be deployed for three to four months in a contentious zone of the Iraq battle space.  They should be assigned a mission which will allow the command to exercise logistics and its chain of command and to demonstrate its combat effectiveness.  These operations will impart to the Iraqi forces the quality most important to a successful turnover of security…military reliability.  The Iraqi government and the U.S. military should ensure that trainers and support forces are available for the newly deployed battalions.

Once reliability is established in the Iraqi military, they will be capable of rotating into the battlefield throughout Iraq, displacing U.S. combat forces, which can be returned to the United States or further assigned to Central Command.  U.S. success in Iraq will ultimately be measured like a cancer operation.  If a dictator more lethal to U.S. interests than Saddam Hussein assumes power over the next decade, the mission will be considered a failure.  If the new nation retains a modicum of freedom and a benign relationship with the U.S., the operation will amount to an unprecedented success in the most difficult region of the new era.

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Posted by The Imam Of The Day at 4/24/2007 8:13 AM | View Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (0)
You Da Man!

For more on Earth Day, and the Global Warming Debate, Mac Johnson offers an interesting insight into the issue...

Mac Johnson  

Are you an angry anti-American Marxist displaced by the fall of communism and the end of the cold war?  Are you a depressed apocalyptic turtleneck wearer in need of an atheist Armageddon to tout?  Are you tired of speaking for the proletariat only to have them tell you to “shove it?”

Well then, the answer to your problems is here!  In a remarkable coincidence, this Sunday is not only Vladimir Lenin’s birthday, it’s also Earth Day!  And the new “Green” movement is accepting all the debris of Marxism’s collapse NO QUESTIONS ASKED!  Enlist now and receive a free “Che Speaks for The Trees!” t-shirt made from 100% organic fair-trade free-range cotton.

Yes, just like a disgraced corporation changing its name and logo and then re-emerging to sell the same old crap under a new trademark, all of Europe and North America’s assorted anti-capitalist, anti-American, anti-Western luddites and looneys have regrouped under a new banner.  Furl the red flag and mute the “Internationale,” it’s time to go green and sing “Kumbaya!” instead.

During the period from about 1960 to the fall of the Berlin wall at the end of 1989, the message of the Red left was that Capitalism was exploiting the world, America was destroying the world, and the only solution was for the international intelligentsia to run the world.

Contrast this with the much-improved message of the modern Green left, which is… that Capitalism is exploiting the world, America is destroying the world, and the only solution is for the international intelligentsia to run the world.

We finally consign Marxism to the dustbin of history, and it turns out it’s a recycling bin. 

But in many ways, Environmentalism must be a much more gratifying cause for the left than Socialism ever was.  Sure Marxism could justify a hatred of one’s own society, but the downside was that the Western movement’s foreign “comrades” were always killing a million people here or there.  This could make one’s “Live Simply So That Others May Simply Live” bumper sticker positively red with irony. 

Using Mother Earth as one’s sanctimonious justification for self-loathing offers no such moral conundrums.  The Earth is a victim, pure and simple, and never hurts anyone.  Well, except for earthquakes, floods, famine, drought, wildfires, mudslides, blizzards, hurricanes, and tornados wiping out villages of babies and native tree-worshipers and such.  But the idea of anthropogenic climate change has solved that issue.  Now even bad weather is the fault of the left’s enemies.

So case closed -- nature is a much better excuse for organized misanthropy than claiming to represent something as troublesome as other humans.  In fact, Environmentalism is the highest manifestation of what I call a “Third Party” cause.  Third Party causes work like this: Suppose you’re a jerk and you act like it for no reason.  Why, I and others will all think you’re a jerk.  But now, suppose you inform everybody that you are not just a jerk, you are angry for a cause, a good cause -- the sort of cause that makes you acting like a jerk entirely understandable, because you’re full of righteous indignation (as opposed to the petty kind.)  You’re not a jerk at all; you’re a champion for some helpless Third Party, say, workers and peasants… or darters and pheasants.  It doesn’t matter exactly, because you’re just too damn mad/concerned/upset/outraged/caring to piddle about details.  My goodness, the Earth is in danger -- out of my way, idiot!

Having a non-human Third Party to champion not only saves you from guilt by association with their human excesses (little things like Pol Pot’s killing fields).  But there’s also the very real advantage that no chimpanzee ever said “No, thanks.”  Claim to represent the working men and women of Appalachia or Albania, and you may be surprised by the vigor with which they correct your delusions of grandeur.  But the Lorax can speak for the trees without fear of contradiction by the forest.

Another advantage of Environmentalism over Marxism is sheer scope.  Marxism claims it is necessary for a small group of enlightened protectors to have power over all economic and philosophical matters so as to guarantee the masses their freedom from want.  Well this is fine, as far as it goes.  But Environmentalism claims it is necessary for a small group of enlightened protectors to have power over not just the economy and philosophy of man, but the air, land, sea, trees, rocks, rivers, newts, amoebas, and fungi as well.  Also, space is probably part of the environment, since that is where solar power and the ozone layer lives.

This attracts to the Green movement a second formerly Marxist constituency, lovers of order, (or at least lovers of the sense of order) who are uncomfortable with the idea of self-organizing disseminated power structures such as free societies, Smithian capitalism, or unguided nature.  Think about how grand the claimed bailiwick of Environmentalism is.  What?  There’s a two-cycle lawn mower engine running in Manitoba?  Nobody asked me first.  HOW DARE THEY?  Now that’s ambition towards order.

A third “watermelon constituency” (green on the outside, red on the inside) are the “dialectical materialist” types that like to believe in the millenarian inevitability of their claims.  Before Marx, these folks were mostly religious fanatics claiming that the end-time was here and that everyone thus needed to listen up to their prophecy so as to be among the elect group that could be saved by obedience.  Then Marx arrived and they became economic fanatics claiming that capitalism’s end-time was here. Thus everyone really needed to listen up to their prophecy so as to be among the elect group that could be saved by obedience.  Finally Marx’s Marxist inevitability proved quite evitable and so the prophets all became global warming fanatics claiming that the hydrocarbon end-time was here… and thus everyone really needs to listen up to their prophecy so as to be among the elect group that can be saved by obedience.  These are important people that arrive just in time to save us from the end.

All in all, it seems entirely appropriate (and again, purely coincidental) that Earth Day is celebrated on Lenin’s birthday.  One wonders whether the Greenies simply had to purchase some old mailing lists. 

Happy Earth Day, Comrades! 

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Posted by The Imam Of The Day at 4/23/2007 10:51 AM | View Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (0)
Fatwa: Skinny Hips

Allah deems that the natural state of womanhood should consist of a shapely, hour glass, figure with hips sufficiently wide enough for the safe passage of all future martyrs into this world and with breasts large enough to sustain same.

Modern marketing practices glamorize thin women, absent of curvature, thereby appealing only to those neo-pedophiles who are attracted to prepubescent boys.  The cultural damage done to womankind by this Madison Avenue oligarchy is an insult to all of God's children and a jihad should be instituted against this perversity.

I call for you to "rise up, oh people of Allah, and mate only with those resembling the true nature of God's vision for womankind as mirrored in Eve's bosom within the Garden of Eden."
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Posted by The Imam Of The Day at 4/5/2007 12:05 PM | View Comments (0) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (0)
Fatwa: Cheese Burgers

Allah deems that Cheese Burgers may only be used for good... Never for evil.
 
As a point of illustration, whenever a co-worker is corrupt, the cheese burger may be used to induce coronary distress thereby removing the corrupt worker from the environment, for the good of the institution.

The accepted manner of exposure is to leave a cheese burger, in a bag, in the entryway to the workers workspace.  Naturally, over time, the worker will not be able to resist the delectable treat and eventually will fall into a pattern of eating at least one cheese burger per day.  Then, voila.  The fatty acids will work Allah's magic for you and the corruption will be excised from your daily life.

Much discussion has been had regarding extending the application of the cheese burger approach to the incompetent co-worker.  However, care must be taken to ensure only those persons who are actually intelligent, but whose natural predisposition to slothfulness results in damage to the institution because of their intentional gross negligence, are subjected to the cheese burger approach.  Unfortunately, but justly, Allah requires us to suffer those who actually are ignorant.
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Posted by The Imam Of The Day at 4/4/2007 2:15 PM | View Comments (1) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (0)